When you were growing up what did you want to be?

We all had dreams that we swore we’d make reality, and some of us really did. For others, we might be somewhere we never even expected. In fact, I’d venture to say that a good majority of us millennial (and younger) folks are still not sure what we’re going to be when we grow up.

This newsletter is for the 20 something, the 30 something, who is still questioning if what they’re doing is even what they want to be doing. You’re not alone, honestly I have no idea what I’m doing and what comes next at any given point. I don’t want to feel alone in this space anymore, so I want to break down those walls and share stories that might make us feel a little less lost, a little less alone.

Let me get even more brutally honest here for a second. I am struggling. I am sitting in the intersection of what I thought I wanted and not feeling any fulfillment from that — left wondering, what is it that is really out there for me? I’m 31, live in a secondary city and finally make an ok amount of money…(Ok because, what even is that really? With inflation and debt and rent on average most city dwellers are only beginning to feel comfortable when they hit $100,000/year. YIKES)…but I’m still not happy. I’m left to wonder if this just how everyone feels or if there’s some other direction I could take that wouldn’t add to my already prevalent diagnosis of depressive disorder. Is anyone truly happy?

I didn’t dream of being a social media manager, far from it actually. Let’s break down what I wanted to do, starting super young:

• Elementary school me fluctuated between wanting to be a veterinarian, a model, or a fashion designer.

• Middle school me was convinced fashion design was where I was headed. Goodbye Pennsylvania, Hello New York City. FIT to be exact.

• High school is where it starts to get interesting. From the ages of 14-17 I wrestled with the idea of studying fashion or becoming a makeup artist…versus the “more secure career,” journalism. Journalism won. (Girl, it’s not even stable!)

I packed up, moved to Philadelphia, attended Temple University and jumped into photojournalism head first. I decided this was going to be my ticket to working at Vogue or Teen Vogue or anywhere in Conde Nast, really. My college professor had other plans. He pushed me to consider “proper” journalism. 👀 And you know what, I didn’t hate it.

I applied, I tried, I can’t tell you how many interviews I went on before I even graduated until well after starting my career. I wanted to do journalism so bad, but journalism didn’t seem to really want me. I started working for digital media doing photo and video editing, which eventually lead me to door number three: social media. _{(and yes, it’s fun and I like it most days, but sometimes I’m like - what does this do for the greater good? You know?)}

It’s my hope that through this newsletter we can create a sense of community, break down any facades that we have it all figured out, and even maybe find ourselves together. I don’t think anyone really has all the answers, but if we start to talk about it more openly, maybe we can get closer to figuring it out. I’ll be interviewing (hello, journalism degree!) a wide range of people who in my eyes have it all figured out. If you want to hear from someone specific, let me know.

Ok meet back up this time in two weeks? Cool.